Our life now

Our life now consists of one dog, one Mommy, one hubby, one son with another on the way.

That's it.

Nobody is in limbo any longer. The future isn't constantly uncertain. The habits and routines of this family are familiar now. I guess that is what comes after fostering, at least for our family.

We took her to meet her new family at DCS on Wednesday. The 'mom' seemed very nice, very understanding, and tried her darnedest to understand me through my tears/sobs. Yesterday, on the phone, I was able to describe to her that this was never our intention with T. We never imagined ourselves moving her to another family. We never imagined packing up her things just to have them moved again, or at least that is the most likely situation.

Here's the thing: This last week and a half was very difficult for our family. It brought tears, stress like I've not had in a long time, and doubts of many sorts. This last week and a half did not go to plan. Our plan. That, apparently, was not necessarily aligned with God's plan. Despite the grief, stress, and feeling of loss; I'm okay with that.

I've learned, slowly but surely, that His will/plan is for good. Always for good. My plans generally end in pain of some kind. I choose Him. I don't want to ever get in the way of what He has in mind for my family, T, and me. I follow Him, knowing He created the world and yet still desires my heart. That is love. As my sister reminded me, He loves T more than we ever could. This was not His plan for her. It's hard to imagine and grasp because she was safe, clean, and happy here. We taught her about how much God loves her. What more could a life need?

Apparently, only He knows. That's enough though, as long as He's got it, I don't have to.

It's not an easy lesson and I'm still learning it.

However, as we figure out how to get back to 'normal' we are enjoying our family again and moving forward...all the time praying God keeps her safe and in the palm of His hands.