My heart's desire

Just as a warning, this post may contain rambling. Just so you know....

Our family, and another certain family, has begun a kind of countdown. It is the date of T's court hearing, letting us know whether she can be transferred to our care-or not. Tonight, we are not going to concern ourselves with the "or not".

My heart and mind are wanting her here so much. I feel like she belongs here, like she wants to be here. She's stayed with us for a few days, and it felt right. It felt normal, natural. But there is no reason it should have felt that way. She barely knew me, she didn't know Andy or Maeic at all. She warmed up to me after 3ish minutes. It took about a day and a half for her to come around to Andy. I was told she was terrified of dogs. Coda is huge and T got used to her right away. She even mentions Coda's name to her current family. She talks about us often and watches out the window for us to come get her.

So many things that could have gone wrong with this whole process, haven't. It is my doubts and my lack of information of the future that is troubling my mind and belly. I know God has this. I absolutely trust Him that He has control over the situation-I don't have control over it, T's dad doesn't, DCS doesn't-just Him. I feel like if I were God (and I absolutely know I am not!) I would be disappointed in me, frustrated too. I have faith, I have trust, I just don't have control.

This last year and a half has taught me, grown me, so much more than I would have ever thought possible (or necessary, if we are being honest). My wants are not the same as my needs. My prayer every night is that T will be placed in the best home for her. That is my ultimate desire for her. I have a hard time rectifying that her dad is the best place for her, but if that is what comes, I will accept it.

My Father has this covered.